For many of us, the topic of our exes seems to really get under our skin. To be fair, they are called exes for a reason. But what if the connection you had with your ex was special and meaningful, but the relationship itself just didn’t work out? How can you decide if the friend zone is the right zone for you and your partner? You may not know the answer now, which is completely ok. But, if you are considering this idea of reopening the door with your previous partner, here are some things you could think about to help navigate the situation.
- What was the Reason for the Breakup?
Once upon a time, in the robust world of love, you and your significant other were in a romantic relationship. However, there was a reason, if not more than one, that you guys are no longer together. To list all the reasons why people breakup would be significantly impossible, however there are some common reasons romantic relationships come to an end. For some, the reason is because people grow, mature, and change over time, and the relationship isn’t like how it was before. Other reasons can include long-distance and dissatisfaction. These reasons for the breakup are on the healthier side of the spectrum. The less healthy, more toxic relationships end due to feeling as if one side was being pulled down and not supported by their partner, or lack of trust from being cheated on. These reasons for a breakup can cause a pause when considering a friendship with your ex. Sure, people change and it’s always crucial to give people the benefit of the doubt. But it’s also crucial to ask yourself if you will ever be ready to forgive your partner for their mishaps.
- Ask yourself if you still have feelings for them. Will jealousy ruin the relationship?
No matter how long the relationship lasted, if you shared intimate moments with your ex partner, you are more than likely to have had feelings, either in the past or currently. If you know you still have feelings for them, it is not a healthy time to reopen this friendship. But if you are still unsure if you are ready or not, take a step back and look at the situation from a bird’s eye view. Imagine being out at a party and seeing your ex flirting with another person. Friends are supposed to want what’s best for each other, but would jealousy get in the way of this and potentially ruin the friendship? If the relationship between your ex is important to you, it is better to wait it out before you dive off the deep end and have jealousy ruin it all.
- Is it really just to be friends? Or do you unconsciously hope for something more?
Before even trying to make an effort to be friends with your ex partner, you need to be clear with what you want to do with things. Is it just friends for good? Is there a chance that things could lead to more later on? Is this friendship just an opportunity for a second chance? Have an honest conversation with yourself about this. If you don’t have an honest idea of what you want coming into this already unfamiliar situationship, it could become really confusing really quickly. It’s just another thing that you need to be aware of when wanting to reopen the can of worms.
Overall, you need to remember that it’s not that deep. Sure, it is important to consciously know how you feel and if you truly think this decision would be the right one, don’t overthink it! At the end of the day, it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just a friendship, right? 😉
Cover Photo: Magdalena Saliba
Eladia Michaels is a part of the Sex and the Crescent city column. She's a sophomore majoring in Communications with an English minor. In addition to being a part of the Crescent, Eladia enjoys trying new things with her friends, exploring new places around the world, and windows down car rides along the beach. Writing to her is simply thinking with her fingers.