This is the story of one senior’s reckoning with hookup culture. All names and identifying details have been altered to preserve privacy.
When you are a fraternity boy at Tulane, the world is your oyster. If you want sex, you are likely having it. But what about when you want love? Now that is a different story.
It is Ethan’s senior year. He felt like he had enough notches on his bedpost to prove he had done college right. His peers knew him as a player, and three years of mediocre hookups had left him feeling accomplished. There was that edgy, artsy girl at the beginning — they did not want the same thing. A slew of Tinder girls followed, newly eighteen and willing to take a risk on his handsome exterior, though that got old. He could never guarantee they would have much to discuss, with the lulls in conversation lasting longer than the sex itself. It was exhilarating but exhausting, and he did feel a twinge of guilt about his quick turnaround between bedfellows.
Meanwhile, his roommate Andy had been in a committed relationship since his sophomore year. Formerly the self-proclaimed king of hookup culture, Andy had reformed, and he and his girlfriend, Mia, were happy. Ethan casually watched their relationship mature over the past two years. They studied together, went on happy hour dates every Friday, and felt at home in each other’s friend groups. Ethan loved to poke fun at Andy for being “tied down,” but he was starting to envy how Andy and Mia leaned on each other.
In pursuit of sex and pleasure, Ethan asked Andy’s girlfriend Mia to set him up a handful of times. Canoodling with her friends went better than expected, personality-wise, but the repercussions in his social world rippled out further than he initially intended. His logic was flawed, and he had sacrificed his privacy. During his time at Tulane, he sometimes felt the notoriety that came with Greek life was part of the school’s charm. It was a good place to be a guy over five-foot-nine. In actuality, Greek life’s constant surveillance made his romantic missteps akin to community theater. Mia’s friends noticed how Ethan got around and derived entertainment from it. He used to crave the attention, but now it made him a little uneasy. Was it time for him to change his ways?
Ethan’s other roommate, Danny, had been in a situationship since March. Over a Miller Lite, he shared exciting plans to ask his situationship to be his boyfriend. Watching Danny develop real feelings for his soon-to-be boyfriend made Ethan ponder his own romantic goals. Danny and Luis had met in class during a group project and drunkenly revealed they had mutual crushes during Mardi Gras. It started as a fling, but before they knew it, they were smitten. Ethan pretended to be annoyed by their public displays of affection and whispered secrets, but he was jealous of their connection. He could not imagine being vulnerable with someone in that way.
Danny’s successful romance made Ethan wonder: what if his future girl was right under his nose the whole time, never to be noticed? Had there been someone he overlooked? Or was she still out there, beyond the bar scene, waiting to be discovered? He would retire his pattern of ghosting. More than a plus-one to mixers and parties, Ethan wanted a person to love. He would resurrect chivalry; he would open doors and deliver flowers. More than half of the student population was female at this school anyway. She is out there, for sure. In fact, she has probably rolled her eyes at his so-called “chivalry” from across the lecture hall, accurately psychoanalyzing him from afar.
Senior year will be all about “operation wife,” he joked. The name was as ridiculous as he was. Good riddance to one-night stands and hello to meaningful matches. So it was decided; he would muster up the courage to attempt dating. His revolutionary strategies included calling instead of texting, initiating sober hangouts, and asking his female prospects more than one question about themselves. Multiple sources had told him his listening skills were subpar.
The first step would be self-improvement, met with characteristic optimism. Ethan would establish a skin care routine, SPF and all. He would attend Romney Studios’ Pilates classes, as Mia encouraged, though he secretly feared the reformer. Podcasts awaited with baited breath to be devoured — relationship advice from other men not qualified to give it. He would essentially discard the advice, aside from the ego boost of it all. It would be a bittersweet farewell to hookup culture, but it would be fun to brag about this so-called self-growth, spinning his newfound aspirations into a tale of evolved masculinity. Oh, to be a Tulane boy looking for love – armed with nothing but cliché study abroad stories, failed romantic attempts, and an unshakable belief that his finance major makes him a catch. P.S., Good luck out there this fall — if you are like him, you are going to need it. The girls are likely out of your league and waiting to be impressed.
About Hannah Levy
Hannah is a senior, studying Philosophy of Law and Gender & Sexuality Studies. She is from Los Angeles, CA, and couldn't help but wonder... what would happen if she collected stories from her and her friends' lives to share here with you? In her free time, you can find her at hot yoga, listening to podcasts, enjoying happy hour, and searching for treasure on depop.
Hannah is a senior, studying Philosophy of Law and Gender & Sexuality Studies. She is from Los Angeles, CA, and couldn't help but wonder... what would happen if she collected stories from her and her friends' lives to share here with you? In her free time, you can find her at hot yoga, listening to podcasts, enjoying happy hour, and searching for treasure on depop.
