To be so in love to the point where they have an electric touch that generates a shockwave through your entire existence. To look at the sunset and rising moon, wrapped in someone’s strong arms. It’s all beautiful to me. Love is the most powerful entity. It is a potent energy in our universe. To hate love is to live a life of misery. I’m writing this on Valentine’s Day; there was a time in my life I hated the holiday simply because I wasn’t in a relationship. Back in high school I’d wear black in protest because I was so bitter. Naturally being an angsty teen, I felt this illusion of empowerment but deep down I was awfully unhappy. Fast forward to where I am today wearing my heart socks with red ribbons in my hair. Even though I don’t have a date tonight, I’m still content. Now how did I get here? I turned 20 back in December and I’ll be perfectly honest, by now I thought I would be in a relationship or have been in one. But if there’s anything I realized in the last couple years, it’s that divine timing and environment plays a big part; I just hadn’t found the right person for me yet. The saying goes that comparison is the thief of joy; my journey, your journey in romance is different because only you have experienced your life. Resenting single life will only plummet you deeper into a lonesome state. Despite it all, in my heart of hearts, I was always a romantic.
The movies, the books, the music, I’m a sucker for it all. Because as long as I’m waiting to experience true love I’ll be searching for it. My generation’s proclivity to hookup culture is really not my thing. At least when I had one night stands, I knew what I was getting into. Dates however, left me with pits in my stomach because I knew I had just wasted my night on someone conniving who clearly wasn’t deserving of my attention. The closest I ever came to happily ever after was the first time I said I love you to a guy. The first and only time in my entire life, as I was on the verge of leaving Syracuse forever. He said exactly those three words I heard him say to me once upon a dream. When I told him I loved him too as we embraced, I genuinely meant it. He ultimately broke my heart, but I still believe the love we had in that moment was not a waste. When I think to myself, “Why didn’t it work out?” repeatedly with all these guys, I ask myself the following question: through the string of crushes I’ve had in high school and college, did any of them meet each of my standards? The answer was no.
All of it left me thinking, I’d rather wait for the real thing than be taken for a ride. At the end of the day, us twenty something romantics aren’t necessarily looking for a future spouse, but someone who cares and treats us well. Not to get too astrological, but this is where my Taurus ascendant and Capricorn Venus comes into the picture. Don’t let anyone shame you for being picky or prudent. It’s not asking someone if they want to get married on the first date if you’re upfront about wanting something serious.
You’re saving yourself a lot of trouble that way. There’s no need to rush. You’re not running out of time, if you take your time to find the right person. Taylor Swift didn’t meet Travis Kelce till she was 33. Suki Waterhouse did not meet Robert Pattinson till she was in her late 20s. Amal Clooney did not marry George till she was in her mid-30s. Back in the last century, when marrying late was stigmatized for women, Berlin cabaret owner Lilli did not meet Conrad Veidt till she was in her early 30s. That last one is very niche, him being a forsaken yet progressive silent film star in Germany whose Wikipedia page is a goldmine. Even when recounting meeting her, Veidt said it “was like coming home to an enchanted place one had always dreamed of, but never thought to reach. For her it was the same.”
That, my friends, is the standard.
Waiting will undoubtedly introduce you to people who have matured more. Men who are particularly easy to fall in love with because they are sweet, genuine, and in touch with both their masculine and feminine sides. I really have a wonderful life, with or without a significant other. One of the most profound parts of It’s A Wonderful Life is when Jimmy Stewart reads the note Clarence leaves for him saying ‘No man is a failure who has friends.’ How could I feel unworthy of love if I have the most amazing friends in the world? It’s impossible. Whether I met them in my sorority, college in general, or elsewhere, they are my collective valentine. If you’re truly distraught about being single, try to redirect your mind to think about the love that already enriches your life. Whether that’s your friends, your dog or your family, to be loved out loud is the dream. Someone who is authentic, enamored, respects your sparkle and is proud to be a part of your life is worth the wait. Having experienced being completely single, at 20 years old I’m not exactly fond of waiting, but true love takes the cake.
About Evelyn Young
Evelyn is a senior from the Chicago area majoring in Digital Media Practices and Jewish Studies with a minor in French. This past summer, she studied creative writing in Paris. Evelyn has held a variety of positions within the Crescent and is incredibly excited to begin her role as Senior Editor. After graduating from Tulane, she hopes to move to Los Angeles to pursue her film career.
Evelyn is a senior from the Chicago area majoring in Digital Media Practices and Jewish Studies with a minor in French. This past summer, she studied creative writing in Paris. Evelyn has held a variety of positions within the Crescent and is incredibly excited to begin her role as Senior Editor. After graduating from Tulane, she hopes to move to Los Angeles to pursue her film career.
