There have been several times when I have carefully selected the most flattering photos I have in my camera roll, written and re-written a bio, and thought of who my ideal match would be if the possibilities were endless. Yet, all this work (attempting to sum up my life, experiences, and personality with non-generic words and enticing photos) has gone to waste. Because each time I am about to click the final step to post a Tinder profile, I hesitate, and can’t bring myself to do it.
It’s not that I don’t believe in the success of the app in matching couples to what they are looking for, whether it be a lighthearted, cute and casual date, someone to fulfill them sexually, or even their soulmate. And it’s not like my mind spirals down a dark path of fear, imagining scenarios of kidnapping or stalking either. Failed dates or misleading intentions of people I don’t find a connection with also aren’t the problem.
Call me hopeless, but each time I am about to hit that download button I shake my head, wipe away the notes page in my phone, delete the folder of photos and concede to the doom of attempting to meet someone the “old-fashioned way” as my grandma would say.
The romantic in me (whom I can perhaps blame on a T-Swift-drenched adolescence) will not give up on the idea of meeting a stranger’s gaze in an airport, sitting down next to someone reading your favorite book at a coffee shop, or sparking up a convo in the aisles of the grocery store with someone who also happens to be buying ice cream.
Even meeting someone during a late night of studying in the library or on a random set up for a formal would suffice. Perhaps I am dreaming of a time that has passed, but for me, my old school, old-soul ideas feel more natural, less orchestrated, less forced. Sometimes I wonder if there is someone in the world who feels the same way about meeting people, whether that meeting lasts one night or forever.
I can imagine myself swiping through the endless photos of possible matches on Tinder, and genuinely having fun doing so. Maybe hidden in those online profiles is my soulmate and I am simply missing out because of this feeling I can’t exactly pinpoint besides saying that it feels too unnatural to me.
I’m often tempted to cave and download every dating app available as I see couples pairing off around me. But there is something to be said for the excitement and rush of having someone nervously ask you in person if they can take you on a date. So for now, I’ll stay waiting, knowing that I’ll meet the right person when the time is meant to be.
COVER PHOTO: Wired