Have you ever considered what your love language is? Everyone has a preference when it comes to showing their partner love, and chances are, yours is one of the five common love languages: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, or receiving gifts.

If you and your partner are having trouble connecting, it could be because you aren’t speaking the same love language! It is important to recognize that not all parties need to be speaking the same love language for a healthy relationship to succeed, but it does take some understanding and compromise. A key step in this understanding starts with you! Determining what you value from a partner is crucial when thinking about what you need to be happy. Here’s some information to help you establish your love language.

Quality Time

For someone who’s love language is quality time, having their partner’s undivided attention is very important. Adventures and fun activities like a romantic vacation, a road trip, or even a simple weekly date night can mean a lot to someone who prioritizes quality time. Often, we mistake being around someone as quality time, but this is not true. Quality time goes hand-in-hand with actively listening and a willingness to experience new things with someone. So put the phone down, and do something exciting with your person!

Physical Touch

Sex isn’t the only physical way to show your partner affection. Kissing, hugging, rubbing someone’s back, holding hands, tickling, and cuddling are all ways to connect with someone who’s love language is physical touch. Physical touch can create a bond between people, as well as produce a sense of safety, comfort, and even emotional vulnerability.

Acts of Service

Some people feel most appreciated when their partner readily devotes their time to doing something they know the other person will enjoy. This is the love language associated with acts of service, and can take the form of a lovingly cooked meal or the completion of a partner’s chores to save them time. These small but meaningful tasks let your person know that you are thinking of them, and willing to lend a helping hand without having to be asked.

Words of Affirmation

“I love you”, “you inspire me”, and  “I am proud of you”, are all affirming phrases or statements that your partner may like to hear regularly. Words of affirmation may be written or spoken, and serve to support, compliment, and empower an individual. If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, consider sending them a text expressing your gratitude towards them!

Receiving Gifts

Last, and definitely not least, receiving gifts! Now I know what you may be thinking…but no, this love language does not revolve around materialism. In fact, those whose love language is receiving gifts usually admire the process of gift-giving, and prefer to receive something personal and purposeful rather than expensive. This present may be a playlist of their favorite songs, or a surprise basket of their best-loved treats.

Featued image by Skylar Schumann

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