It’s the most wonderful time of year: the sleigh bells (heard from the Loyola Bell Tower) are ringing and the Christmas season is upon us. Or actually, considering this is Tulane University, it may be more fitting to say that Hanukkah season is upon us. Either way, I know there is one all-consuming question that is utterly plaguing everybody… what is the best Holiday rom-com movie? Personally, I’ve always felt loyal to When Harry Met Sally. I’m actually not even positive this is generally considered a Christmas movie, but I’ve always felt that the overall tone, mood, and atmosphere embody that of a holiday film. I don’t mean to get carried away; what I’m trying to say is no matter what your favorite holiday rom-com is, there seems to be a similar link: everybody wants a holiday lover.
Lover might not be the right word, because I can never actually decide if it’s creepy or not, but I think you know what I mean: the Billymack to your Joe. In the movies, this star-crossed lover might be around any given corner, but here at Tulane, you’re going to need a step-by-step guide. So, in the spirit of everyone finding that special someone this holiday season, I’ve compiled the most holiday rom-com-inspired spots on campus to meet your Zoey Deschanel or Hugh Grant.
My first idea is inspired by my best friends’ older sisters’ ex-boyfriend’s sister’s relationship ( hint: she started dating the EMT that took her to the hospital when she had an allergic reaction to the peanut sauce on her chicken satay). Take your most trusted friend, order some potstickers, and sit outside of Lemongrass until an eligible bachelor comes waltzing by to pick up his own steaming hot gyoza. At this time, strike up some casual conversation, offer them some of your soba noodles with ginger vinaigrette, and enjoy your happily ever after.
If for some reason the waiting has gone on too long and the Lemongrass workers start suspiciously glancing at you, now is the time to turn to the trusty fake-out method. Call up TEMS, and tell them you’re having an allergic reaction. By the time they arrive and realize that you’re not in fact having a medical emergency, they will be so enamored by your beauty and cleverness ( I can send you some one-liners if you’re nervous about this part), that by the end of the night, you will have yourself a basically-doctor boyfriend.
Now, I get it, the medical type isn’t for everyone, but I’m not going to suggest you go after the football team because let’s face it, with their big season and all, their egos are blown up. So how about we set our sights on something a little more attainable- like the intramural frisbee team? Make an appearance at one of their weekly games, offer them some sideline snacks and frosty beverages, and you’ll be sure to find your prince charming amongst a sea of disc enthusiasts.
Finally, after many days of intense research and interviews, I was led to the after-hours holy mating grounds: The Boot. I know what you’re thinking. This is a terrible idea. You haven’t tried to do this since freshman year, and you’re likely going to catch a disease in the Sharp 3 showers. This is precisely why you shouldn’t look for anyone here. Instead, order a tasty drink and dance the night away with your friends. No lover is ever worth that price. Att the end of the day, most holiday rom-com lovers are going to abandon you anyway once the snow melts and reality sets in. You might as well have some good friends and a stomach full of the suspicious drink you ordered at The Boot for when that day arrives.