One of the consequences of being a neurotic old Jewish woman trapped inside the body of a teenager is that you can never leave the house empty handed. What if I suddenly get a headache when I’m out? And what if I don’t have any drink to swallow the extra-strength Tylenol with? What if I get stranded on the side of the road and I have no money or ID? Soon enough, you end up going out with your entire medicine cabinet, every credit and debit card in your name, and even your social security card.

One fateful Friday night, I suffered the consequences of feeling the need to prepare for the end of the world: I brought my entire wallet to a frat party. This said frat party was Christmas Cowboys themed (whatever that even means), meaning everyone was knee-deep in packing peanuts to resemble the snow that Nola never gets to experience. While this seems like a fun and Insta-worthy experience, it soon becomes your worst nightmare when you reach down in your pocket and realize that your wallet is gone. My heart sank to my stomach as I knew I would never see my tiny key pouch ever again. After assessing the room of pure chaos and people falling into the sea of fake snow, I walked out defeatedly, dreading the text to my parents explaining what my neuroses had caused me to do. The worst part is I was most upset about my loyalty card for the nail salon that would never be recovered.

I got back to my dorm and realized I literally couldn’t even go home — my Splash Card and room key were among the prized possessions in my lost wallet. After the kind security guard heard my situation and let me in for the night, I sat in my room, angry at myself that I couldn’t have just left everything at home like every other normal college student. Since that traumatic evening, I’ve compromised by jamming as many IDs/cards as I can into the back of my phone case (since I refuse to get a phone wallet that would cover my favorite case) and shoving various pills into the pockets of my jean shorts.

My advice to any fellow person that gets heart palpitations just thinking about leaving your room without every personal belonging you could possibly need: take the absolute bare minimum that you can stomach. Leave at least one ID and card at home in case your wallet disappears so you aren’t stranded without any money or proof of who you are (like I was!) You probably won’t suddenly get a migraine or the flu when you’re out for a few hours at a darty. And after all, they do sell Advil at the Boot Store!

Cover Photo: Bianca Falanga

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