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<p style="text-align: center;"><em>Photograph via stock image from Vecteezy</em></p>
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<p>Society has long celebrated men who are bold, funny, and unapologetically themselves—but when women display these same traits, they&#8217;re too often labeled as &#8220;outrageous.&#8221; Picture a woman whose laugh fills a room, who cracks jokes that push the envelope, who goes after what she wants without holding back. Instead of being admired, she&#8217;s likely labeled as aggressive or embarrassing, someone you wouldn&#8217;t want to be seen with on a date. In men, this would be considered average; in women, it&#8217;s treated as transgressive. This double standard is at the heart of how dating culture undervalues authentic women.</p>
<p>Women like this are often dismissed as just &#8220;a good hang.&#8221; They&#8217;re the comedic relief, the friend, not the romantic lead. Why is that?</p>
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<p>Even when men enjoy their company, they&#8217;re quick to separate these women from the category of &#8220;desirable&#8221; or &#8220;sexy.&#8221; If asked if there&#8217;s a romantic interest, the answer is often a defensive, &#8220;What? No, that&#8217;s so embarrassing.&#8221; The message is clear: a woman who is her full, authentic self risks being excluded from the role of an &#8220;ideal woman&#8221; in the dating world.</p>
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<p>Interestingly, when you search for &#8216;outrageous women&#8217; online, you don’t find criminals or villains; you find athletes, artists, and women who’ve made history. The traits that earn them the label &#8216;outrageous&#8217; are ambition, talent, and individuality, qualities we admire in men.</p>
<p>We sort women into categories: the quiet, problem-free woman who dresses just right for every occasion, never too provocative, never too plain. But this woman is a myth. In reality, every woman has her own complexities, ambitions, and quirks. Yet, many feel pressured to hide these traits just to fit the mold of the &#8216;ideal woman.&#8217; The moment a woman lets her true self show, her humor, her drive, her messiness, she risks being branded as &#8216;too much.&#8217;</p>
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<p>This isn’t to say that bold, outrageous, authentic women aren’t attractive; far from it. But the moment a woman steps outside the narrow list of what makes her &#8216;wifey-material,&#8217; everything changes. Dating culture is quick to ask: Can she cook? Can she be a good mom? Can she blend in? But rarely: Can she make me laugh? Can she challenge me? Often, it comes down to intimidation or insecurity, men who feel threatened by a woman’s success or spirit. If being talented, driven, funny, and unapologetically myself makes me outrageous, then I’m determined to be the most &#8216;insane&#8217; woman I can be.</p>
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I Wish to Be Insane: “Outrageous” Women Depicted in the Dating World
